It always seems like right when things are getting good, something bad has to happen, and crush the entire thing. Life has multiple tons of bricks it likes to drop on me, whenever I start feeling happy, or even just plain old content. I don't know what I did, in a past life, to deserve all this... but I want it to stop, already.
I'm sick of feeling hurt and miserable... but it seems like that's the only state I can maintain for any length of time. It's not where I want to be. I've put forth so much effort to find myself in a good, healthy place, in life, where I can relax and just take life easy.
When I arrived, out here, I had a plan. Everything was falling into place, perfectly. My world was finally actually taking a turn for the better. Now... I feel like I'm living yet another nightmare. I'm in a strange, new place, where I don't know anyone, except for one really close friend, who I am inches away from falling in love with (if not already have... I don't know, right now). I had a prospect for a good job. I was getting ready to be enrolled in school, and continue my higher education.
Today. Right now. All of those things look to be fucked. And, now I'm stuck here. Not enough money to leave. No time to pack up and go. No plan for anywhere else. For the first time, in my entire life, I actually want to give up, lay down and die. Screw everything and everyone in my life. I don't want new people. I hardly even want the old people... or family.
I just wanted my happiness. Was that really too much to ask for?
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